In celebration of May Day, this week’s snippet is from a fantasy WIP entitled Mara. Comment on this post for a chance to win a free rune reading.
My sister died before she could tell me the secret that would save our family, and maybe the earth as we know it. Her skin had burned my arm as I lifted her head to ease a few drops of water past her parched lips. I could see in her eyes that the sickness had exhausted her almost beyond caring. Yet there was still a spark there, hidden in the dark blue depths, if only I could reach in and grab it. All my life she had impressed upon me how we were the guardians, how we had responsibilities. Not that I believed all the stories she had pummeled into me for sixteen years, but I had gone with her enough times on Walpurgis night to know the daylight world is a wisp of smoke, a tendril from a cone of wisteria. My sister Mara only kept one thing from me, just until I was ready she said. At the end, she tried to get the words out. My hand hurt from hers squeezing it, fragile though her bones were, and for a split second I thought she had rallied. But the effort was too much. And now–I’m like the rain that sleets with the wind against it, the moon that peers out from midnight clouds. In order to do my job right, in order to really know, I have to bring her back.
Thank you for stopping by! This is the 16th Hump Day Hook of 2013. In this blog hop, each author posts one paragraph from a book or WIP. Find a list of HDH authors here. Everyone would appreciate a comment and for their post to be liked and tweeted, using the hashtag #HDH. Join the FB page here.
Ooh, lots going on here! Nice work!
Thanks, Thea!
A sad excerpt with that spark of hope and necessity. Well done! 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Jessica.
Great hook. Lots of emotion.
Thanks for the emotion comment, Lacie!
Oh, the pain and desperation! Nicely done!
Yep, she’s pretty desperate. Thanks, Tamara!
Oh, how painful…that one vital piece of informationand the loss of her sister…I hope she’ll succeed…but what is the cost of bringing her back? Oy…the hook 😀
Hmmmm, we shall see, Sarah. Thanks for stopping by!
Really nice hook. I hope she can bring her sister back so they can fulfill their mission. That’s cool how the blue writing looks 3-D on my screen, two. Or maybe I’m just punchy today – LOL.
Thank you for the kind words, Sabrina! I can go with punchy lol.
Wow, that first line. I was immediately hooked! Great descriptions. You really paint a picture and pull on my heartstrings!
Thanks so much! I appreciate your stopping by.
Wow, so much information and description in one paragraph, and yet I’m not overwhelmed by it at all. And it demonstrates the risk of withholding information – you never know what will happen to take away your chance of sharing it. I’m intrigued by this wonderful hook. I can’t help wondering how she died…was it a literal burning of her sister’s arm, or was she feverish? I love it when hooks leave me wondering. 🙂
On a different note, a rune reading for your giveaway is a fantastic idea. Love that!
Thank you for the kind words!
Wow, emotional stuff. Well done.
Thanks, Lucy!
I am feeling this one, beautifully written! 🙂
Ahh, thanks, Ellen!
Great snippet – wishing she could reach in and grab that spark. Wow! I know it’s a WIP but keep this line at all costs!
Thanks, Vallory! I appreciate that.
That made me go all shivery as I read it! Fantastic hook, and I can’t wait to read the finished masterpiece.
Hahaha! Thanks, Catherine!
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