Supernova Tango or How to Stay Married

Today Mr. R and I celebrate our 41st anniversary. Since Kelly and Ingvar of Wytchfae Runes are just starting out as a couple, I consider myself semi-qualified to give the beaming lovers some advice about longevity of relationship. I have asked them to sit quietly and listen, but from the looks of things, that’s not an easy task for a Viking and a faery witch. They are too accustomed to adventurous escapades. Sitting still is just not their forte’. However, they pledge to try their best.

1. Get married young, before you know what’s what. (Ingvar is raising an eyebrow, as if to ask if I’ve forgotten he’s over a thousand years old.)

2. Have some interests in common, such as an appreciation of trees, rain, and incense. (Sly wink to each other. Hmmm, makes me wonder what their mutual interest is.)

3. Have some dislikes in common, such as any opera except Wagner. (Kelly is squinching up her face. She’s probably thinking of Ingvar’s favorite food, the old cheese gammalost, which she compares to stinky socks.)

4. Have some opposing traits, such as one likes Keats and one Ogden Nash or one roots for the Red Sox and the other for the Yankees. (Shrugs from both. What, they don’t care for poetry and baseball?)

5. Love something more than yourself, your child for instance, or Doctor Who. (Kelly looks a little sad. The verdict is still out on whether an ancient warrior and a modern faery witch can produce a child.)

6. Have some pets. They are good teachers. (They don’t have a pet yet, but they do have a resident ghost, Hyge, who provides them with a few laughs.)

7. Forget all the advice about not going to bed mad. Go there as often as possible. (More sly winks, and Kelly’s cheeks are red.)

8. Make sure one is hot-blooded and one cold so that when the cold one hogs the covers, the hot one doesn’t care. (Kelly is nodding emphatically.)

9. Avoid having hissy fits at the same time. (Kelly huffs that she has never had a hissy fit in her life, and Ingvar rolls his eyes.)

10. Develop characteristics of maturity. Best way is while your partner is having a hissy fit. (Now Ingvar looks thoughtful. Red alert, a warrior with ideas swirling around in his head can be dangerous.)

11. Complement each other. If one wears bright red for a night out, the other might want to rethink the precious pink. (Ingvar says he avoids lipstick colors.)

12. Compliment each other, as in “love your moustache” and “cool purple hair.” (Ingvar says he likes Kelly’s hair no matter what funny color she puts on it.)

13. Don’t skitter at the same time. Practice skitter, frizzle, skitter, frizzle, skitter, frizzle. (Both Kelly and Ingvar are staring at me blankly. Frankly, I can’t remember what this means either.)

14. Look for your partner’s higher/inner self. Once you see it, you can never dismiss the person out of hand. (Now both are staring above each other’s heads. Wait, is that Epona and Odin materializing?!)

15. Once any karmic ties are worked out over the first few decades, it’s easier sailing. Thank your partner for saving you a rematch. (I can tell the concept of decades doesn’t really compute with Kelly, and Ingvar’s ghostly centuries were more or less a blur.)

16. Lighten up. (There go those shrugs again.)

17. Celebrate. (Slight grins now.)

18. Now and then, spike the coffee. (Finally their faces are lighting up, and they’re both nodding like crazy.)

19. Gaze at the stars. (They are standing up now. I guess they want to hurry outside and view the heavens.)

20. Plant trees. (They’re edging toward the door. I’m glad my advice was so well received. I’ll have more pithy suggestions for the new couple on Valentine’s Day.)